Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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