we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
