Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
