My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
