i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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