Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Barsexuality is the new black.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
