so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
