I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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