For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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