bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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