he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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