Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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