I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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