I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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