Will you blow on my dice?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
