When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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