I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
