i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
