So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
