whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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