He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
