dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
