so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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