All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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