He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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