Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
