she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
