I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
