420 ftw
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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