Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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