No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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