lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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