There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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