i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
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