Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
