Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
