he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
