Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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