You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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