I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
