so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
