i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
