The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
