You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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