thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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