im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
