the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i will never coherently bang her
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
