cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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