She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
