i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
