i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
