the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
