I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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