Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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